Online dating do's and don'ts for men
Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.This contributes to the feeling of being emotionally drained in a partnership. The good news is that once in our thirties our energy level decreases naturally and hence even individuals with BPD will have less vigor at their disposal.I always ask my clients “What’s your partner’s most valuable asset – other than her portfolio?” The correct answer is “consistency” – and consistent is what people with a history of BPD are not.“One day I’m her king the next moment I am no good.There is simply no consistency.” My view: “Nice summary – exactly! ” An individual with BPD has a frantic fear of abandonment – which doesn’t help the relationship.
The partner becomes the main outlet for her entertainment, self-respect, or self-loathing – an overwhelming job to handle!
What’s the major challenge of BPD: It comes seldom alone!
Substance and eating disturbances co-occur and mood disorders such as Unipolar Depression and Bipolar disorder generally require a combined treatment consisting of a medication regime and therapy.
Linehan (1993) developed a treatment approach for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).
It’s a combination of Eastern Mindfulness Training and Western Cognitive Behavior Therapy.